4 things dogs want to know before approving the next member of the Supreme Court
Today, Gogo is stepping in to offer the questions he thinks would best reveal the fitness of a potential Supreme Court Justice. While he understands that dogs’ opinions are not typically considered in matters concerning the U.S. judicial branch, he considers himself an excellent judge of human quality. He can detect kindness from a distance of at least 100 yards.
On behalf of dogdom, Gogo offers this brief but well-balanced questionnaire.
- Are you kind to animals? ___ Yes ___ No
If yes, proceed to #2. If no, I’m sorry but this interview is over. Good luck to you, madame or sir.
2. Let’s say there is a warm fireplace and a big comfy chair. Would you snuggle with:
a) a dog
b) a cat
c) a and b
d) never a cat
3. Pretend the justice next to you is being a jerkface. Like, won’t give you any of his treats even though you might be starving and you have no treats. Do you:
a) Let me bite him on the ankles a little
b) Explain that sometimes we have to do things that are hard so everyone can be ok.
c) Put him on your list of Worst Jerkfaces of All Time, DO NOT GIVE TREATS
d) a, b and c
4. Let’s say there is a really big, loud human who says he needs your professional help because the Squirrel Mafia came and took all his legumes and hid them, and replaced them with dead grass. Do you:
a) Tell the loudmouth to go away.
b) Tell him there is no Squirrel Mafia.
c) Ask him did he really have a lot of legumes, or does he just WISH he did?
d) all of the above.
We feel confident that using this questionnaire will effectively screen out inappropriate candidates for our country’s highest court.
Disclaimer: the content above has not been vetted by the American Bar Association, the ASPCA nor any other reputable group.
Puppies are Jerks 
Vetting or no, I approve of this content. Dogs are excellent judges of character and professional qualifications.
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